Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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