I think im going to throw up on grandma
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
