He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize