butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
