so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
