I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize