Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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