i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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