if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The air was thick with penises
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
