The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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