So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
