Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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