In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
