didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
