And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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