The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
