it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
