i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
