you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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