Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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