He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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