my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
