bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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