He disabled his match.com account in front of me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
