Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
