You're my little dorito
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize