i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
