she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
