k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
