so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize