People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
