well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I showed him my bush... on skype.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
