I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
