yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
