He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
