doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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