Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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