So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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