I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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