dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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