If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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