We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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