'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize