i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you traded sex for a burrito?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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