There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
