Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
