Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
