one two three fourrrrnication!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
