her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
