got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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