It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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