plz talk dirty to me
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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