Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
