After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
