Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
