so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
