apparently the secret to your success is patron
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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