A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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