he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
