awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
