no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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