Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
